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Post by netstorm on Jan 19, 2012 22:19:42 GMT -5
I know all you bitches be older (well I mean I guess klatypus is in grad school right?), but I ain't! I'm graduating in May and I'm attempting to go straight into grad school. The problem is (maybe not a PROBLEM) is I'm applying to MFA programs (a lot of them) which are highly competitive and scattered nationwide. My girlfriend of four years is going to be coming with me pretty much wherever I end up, so as stands there are two scenarios: 1. I get into one of my programs, which could be anywhere from someplace nearby like Charlottesville, Virginia to Austin, Texas to Madison, Wisconsin, to Portland, Oregon, and we move there and live together (we've never lived in the same apartment, even though we basically do it seems). We were both born in NC and have lived here all our lives, so moving, let alone across the country, is a totally alien thing to us (especially if we wind up in a big city... holy jeebus). 2. I don't get into any of my programs! We stay in Raleigh (because we both like Raleigh) and try to get jobs, find an apartment, and generally dally about doing the just-out-of-college-young-professionals type of thing until I can maybe get into a program elsewhere. It's not ideal to me, I like to travel, but I feel like I could definitely live in Raleigh and enjoy it. What kind of obstacles should I expect in a scenario where I'm moving to a place neither of us is familiar with, to live with a SO that I've never completely lived with before? Serious thread is serious.
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Post by Flutterby on Jan 20, 2012 15:49:23 GMT -5
I'm at the same place (even though I've already graduated) and I wish I had advice. Moving usually isn't so bad. In fact it's even better when you have someone to do it with. Moving by yourself can be really scary (for me, anyway).
As far as living with someone you've never lived with before....COMPROMISE. You have to expect that both of you will get annoyed with things the other person does, but you can't let it get to the point that you argue about it. For instance, the dishes always have to be done. If you both hate doing them, it doesn't matter cause they ain't gonna do themselves!! Someone is going to have to give in, and if it's always you (or her) it will become frustrating really quickly.
My problem is I'm trying not to leave the area. That makes the number of graduate programs very, very limited. It scares me a little that I might be forced to take a year off simply because I wasn't as good as the other people. But I guess there is nothing I can really do about that, so I will have to take it as it comes.
Good luck!
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Post by klatypus on Jan 20, 2012 18:13:57 GMT -5
Good luck. I live with my SO. I have lived with him for 3 years, and now engaged. We are best friends, and have been since we met 7 yrs ago, but we have had some rough times too. I am hard headed at time (I'm sure you figured that by now) and he has really kept this relationship strong because when he has an issue he is blunt and to the point, we have a discussion, sometimes we bicker... but talk.. once you stop talking, the love leaves and everyone is suspicious/secretive to the other. then a few more tidbits to keep shit smooth: also, if you notice that she has habits that annoy you, try to pick your battles, because there are probably a few things that you do that annoy her too. do nice things together/for eachother randomly to keep it fresh. tell her how much you appreciate her uprooting herself from everything once you get there. if you get in a fight, do NOT ask her if it is 'that time of the month', unless you want bloodshed in your future. lol, jk.
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Post by freshmonkey on Jan 20, 2012 23:45:08 GMT -5
Very solid advice ITT
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Post by netstorm on Jan 21, 2012 0:12:10 GMT -5
Katy you sound like me and my girlfriend. She's incredibly stubborn and I can hardly keep myself from arguing (I study rhetoric! It's ingrained in me). But you know, everyone has their tough points.
I am definitely glad to have her with me for moving--it would be hard for me to start off somewhere I've never been with no one I know!
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Post by klatypus on Jan 23, 2012 13:52:59 GMT -5
please heed that last one, my fiance still thinks it is hilarious, I assure you it is not.
when will you find out if you got in/you are going?
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